Walk Like an Egyptian

 

OK, not the most creative title, but accurate.  First thing after our morning flight from Tel Aviv to Cairo was the Egyptian Museum – home of King Tut and other old things.  We had a great museum guide and learned some fascinating things like how to identify if a statue is of a pharaoh or not (in case you find one in your backyard).  The beard and forward left leg means he’s dead (hopefully they all have beards), and a clenched left hand or one holding a sepulchre is a sign of a ruler.  The left leg first is interesting.  When a pharaoh or other rich or important person (not necessarily the same thing) died, they were mummified.  This basically preserved their bodies so their spirits could come back to them, and their coffins were carved to render their faces and hands – again for identification, though I’m not sure why their spirits would need them.  But back to mummification.  The brains were basically ripped into mush via the nasal cavities and then all drained out through those passageways (gives new meaning to a nose bleed).  Then the left side of the body was opened at the bottom of the ribcage to remove the organs.  Four jars or pots were used to preserve these organs: one for the liver, one for kidneys, then stomach and intestines and finally the heart, if I remember all this correctly.  I’m sure the genitals went in one of those jars, too, though the guide didn’t mention it.  So along with the statue and mummy you’ll find in your backyard, don’t overlook those four jugs of organs.  Then the body is encased with salt for about 2 months.  Oh, but back to my original thread:  the left side is sacred because that is the side of understanding.  This is the spiritual side; the heart.  The right side is for knowledge, and knowledge, along with the organ responsible for learning and retaining knowledge, the brain, is not needed in the afterlife.  Knowledge is a hindrance.  Knowledge is only needed for the physical realm, to which the Egyptians didn’t give much emphasis.  This physical world was only useful in preparing for the next world.  I’m fascinated by the juxtaposition of our world with theirs and that they already had some idea of left- vs. right-brained functions.

 

King Tut’s room held his two coffins, both of gold and copper (which oxidized into blue), with all kinds of jewelry and details in red and yellow gold and every other precious thing.  His eyes (on the coffin) are made of ivory with crystals drilled in for the retina, then copper “eyeliner” applied around the eyes.  When a flashlight is shined on them, an incredibly real pair of eyes stares back at you – lifelike enough to have scared many pyramid explorers and thieves!  King Tut’s fingers were enclosed in gold, like long thimbles, and arms and legs adorned with more jewelry.  His mummified body was placed in one coffin, which was placed in another, then another,  which was nestled into a wooden ark-like box, which was then placed into 3 subsequently larger boxes, the final one about 6x8x10 feet in dimension.  What is really amazing about King Tut’s tomb is the incredible amount of gold and precious stones and metals, plus the craftsmanship, for a king who ascended the throne at 9 years old, died at 19 of unknown causes – murder has been ruled out, and did absolutely nothing for Egypt.  So if all this was done for insignificant King Tut, imagine what the tombs of some of the great kings and pharaohs and those who lived long lives and amassed much wealth would have looked like! 

 

As we landed in Cairo, the city of 20 million people stretched out for miles, like approaching LA, but the difference in Cairo is that the urban expanse was almost completely made up of drab-looking high rise apartments.  They don’t often finish most houses and apartment buildings because the taxes are lower if a building is still in the construction phase.  Other interesting dwellings could be found in the “City of the Living” – really the City of the Dead: the Muslim cemetery.  The bodies are buried in the ground with one or two rooms above in the mausoleum, I suppose we would call it.  Actually, there are two rooms under the ground, one for men’s bodies and the other for women – so they are even segregated at death.  But squatters have come in and lived in the “upstairs” rooms, with water and electricity and TV piped in.  The owners of the mausoleums don’t really take any action to kick out the squatters because they feel it’s a form of charity. 

 

Anyway, we got a bit of a taste of Egypt driving in Cairo.  We were definitely back in an Arab country, and many of our group on the bus were getting ulcers over the driving.  Pedestrians wandered into and across the road, there are no lines painted on the streets, and a generally laws of physics are not in effect, much like Casablanca.  I thought it was mild compared to Casa, with hardly any scooters or motorcycles and honking only used if you and your mother ****.   Aside from the Egyptian Museum (a bit rundown I thought, but they’re building a new one), we had good views of the Nile and sailboats out on it, as well as the Opera House.  In 1869, the Suez Canal opened and was celebrated by the first performance of Aida, Egypt’s most-loved operas, and one of my favorites, too.  I mean, it’s VERDI!  How can you not love Verdi?  But anyway, Aida was performed at the newly opened Opera House to celebrate the Suez Canal.

 

In the evening, they had a Nile River Cruise booked for us.  The food wasn’t great and it was on one of those huge boats that didn’t even feel like it was moving except that buildings outside were floating by.  Sufi & belly dancers entertained us.  I was fascinated by this Sufi dancer spinning around and around for about 15 minutes, apparently in a trace to keep him from losing his lunch.  He wore 2 skirts over his baggy pants, plus several scarves wrapped around his head.  He also had 6 discs, something like tambourines, that fit inside one another, though at the same time all looking the same size – anyway, hard to describe this whole thing that I’d never seen before, but it was amazing.  There are a few pictures, though difficult to get good ones, even with Julie’s camera.  Sufi dancers begin training when they’re barely 4 or 5 years old, and it is a form of meditation for them:  a trance.  It fascinated me with the bright colours and the flow of all the fabric – it looked like one of my paintings was spinning around in front of me.  People often ask me what inspires my art, and I think the only firm thing I can point to is fluid movement, whether of water or, even better, bright coloured fabrics laid out together or moving.  So I was both inspired and mesmerized by this guy.   Then the belly dancer performed, and I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed by it.  It wasn’t anything obscene and I know I’m sounding like a prude, but I just felt uncomfortable.  Most of the other guests on the cruise appeared to be Arab or Asian businessmen.  Aside from the general gawking, several began filming her via their mobiles.   Anyway, I was back in an Arab culture, and that never agrees with me.  After Morocco, I have almost no tolerance for their leering and aggressiveness. 

 

Bright and early the next morning, before waves of heat and tourists arrived, we drove out to the Giza Pyramids.  The entire Nile delta would flood for 4 months out of the year, and while the farmers adjusted the type of crops and growing cycles to take advantage of this, it wasn’t agreeable to dead pharaohs.  The pyramids are built on land which is up a huge cliff overlooking Cairo.  Now, the pharaohs didn’t just one day decide to build these things.  Their ambition was built on centuries of tradition, beginning with marking the graves of royalty and nobility with a stone in order to acknowledge the place they were buried.  But then the rulers and the rich wanted to take more of their wealth with them into the afterlife (He who dies with the most toys gets to keep them.), so the graves expanded with underground rooms to accommodate their favorite possessions.  (I wonder when we’ll see 10x40m plots to accommodate yachts and Ferraris and Ferragamos?)  However, contrary to popular belief, the rulers and rich are human, so they got greedy and wanted to take more and more stuff with them when they died, which were accommodated by placing them under a pile of stones.  But a pile of stones isn’t necessarily pretty or ordered, so they began to pile the stones as steps so the royal (but not the rich, since only royals were the reps of the gods) could step up to be with the gods.  Not only were they greedy, and self-exalting, but also competitive, so the pile of stones got bigger and bigger, until one of them reached 280 feet high.  And this is how the Giza Pyramids were born.

 

Now, it’s interesting that the Egyptians actually paid their labour to build these things.  During the 4 months of Nile flooding, even farmers gravitated to the construction industry.  The pyramids had to be built quickly, since the average ruling period for a pharaoh was 20 years.  So as soon as he was inaugurated, not only was the pyramid constructed, but also his tombs – remember, at least 7 for those that were found with King Tut.  The largest pyramid has 2.3 million blocks, again, no mortar was used.  Some blocks were from local quarries, but others traveled down the Nile from 600 miles away.  That’s like LA to Eureka!  And if someone cares to do the math, 2.3 million divided by 20 years is 4.5 minutes per block!  They had some amazing operations, for sure.  Maybe they had CMI (Continuous Measurable Improvement).

 

It is something of an insult, too, that no one in our common era has been able to construct a pyramid more than 10 feet high.  Now, that sounds silly, but considering that no mortar was used (it was just a pile of rocks, remember?) and that there is no pressure of the weight of the rocks on the hollow burial tombs, it gets more challenging.  The interior rooms have stones slanted that take all the pressure.  Plus, there is a spirit tunnel, usually hidden, for the spirit to come and go freely.  Of course, its home could always be located by the numerous tombs with the exact likeness of the pharaoh’s face and hands engraved on them.

 

Ra is the sun god.  He travels across the sky everyday (unless you live in London), and the Egyptians had numerous explanations for this phenomenon.  One was that a woman’s body was arched over the land.  Her head was east, where the light began.  In the west was her uterus, and the sun would drop out of her down into darkness.  The other explanation was the solar boat.  The sky is blue because it’s actually a river, and Ra sails across the sky in his solar boat.  Well, if Ra needs a boat, the pharaoh does even more so.  Next to the pyramids, a boat was buried.  Well actually, over 1000 pieces for a boat requiring assembly were buried, and the Egyptians figured the spirit would take care of the assembly.  Remember that next time you’re in IKEA.

 

Since we hadn’t taken enough pictures yet, including camels (dromedaries actually, since “camel” is really the name for a 2-humped camel, well, dromedary, which can only be found in the zoo – camels, I mean, not dromedaries), we headed over to the Sphinx.  The Sphinx isn’t a camel or a dromedary, thank goodness, but a lion with a human head. (I know you knew that already.)  Since a lion has never been seen to have a human face, this combination was intended to strike fear in all who looked at it, and thereby guard the pyramids.  With the west considered the place of death (the sun died each day in the west), the Giza pyramids were built on the west bank of the Nile, and the Sphinx faces east to guard against the living.

 

By the end of the day I felt in need of my own sphinx.  Our guide had started the morning off with 5, but was now bidding 16 camels for me (not sure what Dad would do with 16 camels, though I’m sure the HOA would have some concerns), and the security guard personally escorting me and chatting me up.  We had armed guards on both busses as well as a police escort – 4 guys in one car – the entire time we were in Egypt, including the 6 hour trek across the Sinai desert.  But none really met my definition of a personal sphinx.  I finally decided that the black “tents” and veil worn by women to only show their eyes – that outfit is going in my suitcase for my next visit to the Arab world.  Actually, I’m not blonde or pretty enough to warrant all this attention, but I’ve come to the conclusion it’s just the colour of my skin.  In Cairo along the expressway, there were a series of “B-white” advertisements which looked like some sort of skin lightener.  Wonder if they asked Michael Jackson to be their celebrity promoter?

 

 

Most of the Nile borders cater to recreation – from parks and boardwalks to sailing, which is the most popular pastime. However, in a few undeveloped areas we could see the typical reeds along the Nile – remembering how Moses was found.  His name probably derived from Mu-Meses which means “water infant”.

 

We visited the only synagogue in Cairo.  It had never been used because there weren’t 10 Jewish men in all of Old Cairo to keep the lights going. However, one of our group was formerly Jewish, and while most of us marveled at being in a synagogue for the first time, Mark told us it was not at all like a real synagogue.  Most blatantly, the Torah was left opened on a book stand, and opening the Torah is only done with much respect.  It would have never been left open by a Jew.

 

Later, the Coptic Museum (Coptic means Egyptian) showed us all kinds of ancient Egyptian art in stone, wood, paints, papyrus, leather, embroidery, and fabric.  On display is the oldest known book of the Psalms – dated to 1288! – plus a red-leather-bound book of the four gospels written on linen paper – definitely a work of art.  Afterwards, some of us went to the Cairo bazaar.  I really didn’t want to go, but was in need of a new, not to mention cheap, suitcase to replace the bag that didn’t make it through Israeli inspection very well.  So I stuck with our little group who ventured into the maze – a gauntlet of vendors trying to get our attention:  “I’m honest!  How much will you pay me?!”  But I claimed victory emerging with a large red $25 suitcase.

 

Before leaving Egypt, we drove about 6 hours through the Sinai desert to the Red Sea and the Israeli border.  We “crossed” the Suez Canal via a tunnel of 2km under the canal and the militarized zone around it.  After emerging, we looked back to see a very long ship in the canal, but could only see the top part – a ship in floating in the desert.

 

With such a long bus ride, our guide was very entertaining, explaining compulsory military service (which he avoided due to bananas – you mean “Go Bananas”? – “yes, that’s it!”) as well as the decreasing numbers of arranged marriages (most young people just date non-exclusively – like himself).  But someone asked him about Islam, and though he replied that questions about religion are very rude, gave us quite a detailed response.  A Muslim must do 5 things. First, believe that Allah is the only God and Mohammed is the last prophet after Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Isaiah, and Jesus.  Second, pray 5 times a day at sunrise, about noon, 4pm, sunset, and 8pm.  They have to wash first, but it isn’t necessary to pray at work or on duty, nor do pregnant and menstruating women have to pray.  Third, fast in Ramadan, lasting a month, from sunrise to sunset – meaning no food or even water, as well as cigarettes – although kids and those with medical exemptions don’t have to fast.  When the fast is broken each evening after sundown, huge feasts are held, open to neighbors and the poor.  This is expected in order to be compassionate for the poor – in order to understand how they feel.  Fourth, Muslims must make one pilgrimage in their lifetime to Mecca – but only if they can afford it, which is about $10-15k.  Our guide told us that the money Saudi Arabia makes from the pilgrims to Mecca is greater income than from oil!  Finally, 5% of savings must be given to charity (note that’s savings, not income).

 

He explained that Suni and Shiite are two different sects, of Islam.  While the Suni are very simple and tolerant, the Shiite believe in self-flogging, cutting, and injuring, and the Suni consider this paganism.  Shiites, per their history, are very stubborn and believe that the Angel Gabriel was supposed to give his message to Ali but mistakenly gave it to Mohammed.

 

When we asked about the Islamic after-life beliefs, our guide became agitated.  If you ask any Egyptian about getting the 70 virgins for sacrificing in battle, they will look as if you had two heads.  Most of the suicide bombers come from very impoverished circumstances, and this is exploited by their governments -- not in Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, or in any of the more developed nations, but in Palestine and Afghanistan.  The politicians and those wanting control brainwash children from a young age, including the invented story of 70 virgins in heaven, and incentivize the family with promises of $30,000 (probably equivalent to something like $2M to Americans) for their son or daughter to be patriotic.

 

Luckily, since Julie had to switch buses everyday since she was a coordinator, I got to switch busses as well, and even with his lectures at each stop as to why I should be on his bus, I was able to escape the guide with 16 camels.  Of course, before crossing the Egyptian border to Israel, he told me to pay the exit tax – two kisses on the cheek.  These 3 days in Egypt wore me out just as Morocco did – aside from the aggression in the bazaar, the feeling that I was just another pretty but useless piece of junk for sale.  I was exhausted.

 

 

I’ve never walked across a border before, and it took two hours to go through the 2 exit checkpoints from Egypt and the 3 checks (passport, security, and customs) in Israel.  Luckily they didn’t interrogate me this time, probably because I was with the group.  But I came to appreciate crossing borders by plane – at least it’s air conditioned!

 

So the last night of our tour was in a resort hotel in Eliat, at the northern most point of the Red Sea.  The hotel was wonderful, but I’d hit a wall after the border crossing and didn’t even leave the room for the two hours before dinner.  Afterwards, Julie and I caught the high-school play that was Obama’s first official press conference, and then fell asleep.  Although it would be nice to say I swam in the Red Sea, I was starting to get a sore throat and opted to get breakfast at 10 followed by a massage.  We drove 4 hours back to Tel Aviv, via the Desert of Zin (or Sin) where Moses and the Israelites wandered for 40 years.  When I hear or read the story, I picture a flat, solid-footed desert – like the Mojave, I suppose.  But Zin is a labyrinth of gullies straddled by 20-foot cliffs – not compatible with accurate navigation or easy traveling. 

 

That evening I left the group after our farewell dinner in Tel Aviv, as they had a midnight flight back to LA.  To commemorate my last day in Israel, I spent the next morning of 9-Nov swimming in the Med, reading the newspaper, and walking along the boardwalk.  That evening, once my plane had taken off, I felt a huge relief to be leaving Israel.  As much as I enjoyed it and obviously learned from it, the constant proximity of war, seen in the battle-scarred land, barbed fences, and high airport security (I’d had all my luggage, both checked and carry-on, searched down to opening each jar of cream) had taken its toll on me.  Frankly, I was emotionally depleted.